6 Types of Abuse and How to Identify Them
What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence (also referred to as intimate partner violence or dating/relationship abuse) is defined by harmful and damaging behaviors used to manipulate, humiliate, or harm the partner in a relationship. These behaviors are a means of control and have extremely negative impacts on the victim.
Domestic violence goes well beyond physical abuse. The abuse can also be verbal, sexual, financial, and psychological. It’s essential to recognize these types of abuse and identify them to reclaim your power and leave the abusive relationship immediately.
A key part of domestic violence awareness is breaking down the stigmas surrounding it. Doing this increases the knowledge of different types of abuse and gives victims a chance to identify the kind of relationship they are in. Continue reading to learn about these types of abuse and how you or a loved one can recognize these red flags and seek the help you need.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is the intentional act of causing unwanted bodily harm to a partner. Any kind of physical abuse is wrong. No one deserves to experience the humiliation, defeat, and physical toil that physical abuse causes.
Physical includes but is not limited to:
Punching
Kicking
Slapping
Pinching
Spitting
Stomping
Scratching
Choking
Pushing
Shoving
Using weapons to intimidate or cause harm
Physical abuse is not a punishment and it is certainly not a punishment anyone deserves, no matter what excuses the perpetrator may create. You don’t deserve to be treated with a lack of human decency and respect. You deserve to feel safe when with your partner.
Verbal Abuse
Verbal abuse is often overlooked because it does not leave a physical mark. But the mark it does leave emotionally and psychologically is just as painful. Verbal abuse occurs when a partner uses intimidation, humiliation, insults, and more to put you down and make you feel inferior. Verbal abuse comes in many forms. Abusers may use different tactics to create a sense of confusion, helplessness, and despair. This may include using aggressive words or even cold silence.
Here are a few examples of verbal abuse:
Screaming or yelling
Using profanities against you to degrade you
Using negative words to kill your self-esteem
Gaslighting (a control tactic used to make the victim question their own truth and reality)
Using threatening words
Using manipulative words to make you feel guilty, ashamed, and embarrassed
Being aggressively confrontational
Withholding thoughts, information, and feelings
Verbal abuse should be taken seriously at all times. If you recognize any of these red flags in your relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out to the national domestic violence hotline to help plan your next steps.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse often goes in hand with verbal abuse, as verbal abuse is one of the many tactics used. Degrading and harmful words can cause mental effects that leave the victim feeling emotionally distressed and defeated. However, there are differences between the two. While verbal abuse uses the power of language to degrade and tear you down, emotional abusers use manipulative tactics to play with your emotions to get what they want–control.
Here are a few examples of emotional abuse:
Dismissing your feelings
Invalidating your emotions and feelings
Stonewalling (avoiding talking about issues or ignoring them altogether)
Gaslighting
Belittling you
Overly criticizing you
Humiliating you to lower your self-esteem
Using emotions to manipulate and control you
Emotional abuse is meant to keep you in this vicious cycle of fear, doubt, low self-esteem, and control. If you or a loved one are experiencing domestic violence, don’t hesitate to make the call.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse can occur within relationships and is often overlooked because of the intimacy of the relationship. In fact, most sexual abuse occurs between people who have a history or a relationship (whether it be familial or non-familial).
Sexual abuse occurs when any non-consensual and unwanted actions are inflicted upon a partner. This abuse is also present when a partner takes away the right to bodily autonomy by restricting the use of birth control, refusing to wear protection, and more.
Sexual abuse includes but is not limited to:
Unwanted kissing
Unwanted touching
Non-consensual sex or foreplay
Forced sexual acts or pressuring one into sexual acts
Sexual abuse is still abuse even if you did not verbally say, “no” or physically resist. Any unwanted act done against you is a violation of your boundaries.
Financial Abuse
Financial abuse occurs when the abuser uses finances to gain control over the partner. It is a way to keep the victim trapped and totally dependent on the offender. It also makes it incredibly difficult for the victim to leave the relationship, as their survival may depend on the victimizer in control of the finances.
If you notice a few of these red flags, don’t hesitate to reach out for resources:
Not allowing you to work
Preventing you from getting to work
Giving you a strict allowance
Not giving you any access to bank accounts
Depositing money into an undisclosed account
Stealing money (cash, cards, checks)
Hiding money
If you are suffering from financial abuse, lean on your support system, start formulating a plan, and of course, use online resources to get the help and outside support you need to successfully detach yourself.
Psychological Abuse
Psychological abuse is often a combination of other types of abuse such as verbal, mental, and emotional abuse. Psychological abuse is used to keep victims weakened, frightened, and in an unstable emotional state. Victims of psychological abuse often suffer long-lasting effects and struggle with their mental well-being due to the toxic relationship.
Here are just a few examples of psychological abuse:
Using silence as a punishment
Being verbally abusive (calling names, using profanities, talking down, humiliation tactics)
Minimizing any ailments of partner
Gaslighting
Public humiliation
Constant criticism
Threatening you, your pets, and people in your life
Making fun of you
Shaming you
Psychological abuse is meant to keep you in a cycle of unprovoked violence. It’s exhausting, evil, and not what a loving partner does.
All of these different types of abuse have long-lasting mental and emotional effects. It’s not easy getting through such a dark time, especially when you feel backed into a wall. At times it may feel as if there’s no end in sight. But continue to fight for your life, for a love that you deserve, for a life of peace and happiness–not shame, sorrow, and depression.
It’s not too late for you. Contact the domestic violence hotline (800-799-7233) today!
Yours Truly,
Chevon Nicole